Go Berserk... No Dessert?!

Like Mer, I had a totally killer weekend, though I didn't have to go all the way up to Long Dong Lake or whatever to have it.

Friday afternoon I was feeling pretty down and getting sort of freaked out about it, so when my boss let us off at 4:30, I made an appointment at Ultrasound Studios and drummed for an hour, which made me feel a bit better. I was actually getting pretty good at what I think people call "beat independence," something I've always had a hard time with. I was working some awesome contrapuntal flams into the mix as well. Fuck it, I don't know what the shit it's is all called. Point is, it was a pretty good work out, and I'm still pretty sort of okay at the whole thing. Then I met T-Bone to go see Land of the Dead, which ended up being wholly entertaining, if a bit ham-fisted. Tom Savini's cameo as Hatchet Zombie is alone worth the price of admission. No it's not. Yes it is.

Then on Saturday I went over the friends' place to peep on the housewarming party they were having for their new roommates. The Wy-Man almost kicked the ass of this guy who writes for The Onion A.V. Club for allegedly being rude to his girlfriend, which was... a little awkward. I also talked to these two awful immature girls who had gone to Amherst and knew Razor Lopez down to the littlest detail, including something I didn't know -- that he was in the fraternity Chi Psi!

...Which he fervently denied when I saw him on Sunday at his place over on Water St. He lives right next to this block that houses both a tract-printing press for Watchtower and the DLX Novelty Company. Go figure. And that shit he tells you about the bakery across the street? No lie, dawg. That shit smells choice. I wish I could say that I liked his puppy, but I just... don't. It's got kind of a brutal face like a bear and these very scared eyes whose whites you can always see. The effect is rather unsettling, if you ask me. Chris was there, too. That guy has read Blood Meridian. I could see that one coming, though; that guy's ready everything. So we went up to the roof of the building and were having a pretty good time until all of a sudden this awful woman (who looked like a younger blonde version of the Runaway Bride) shows up and starts trying to strike up a conversation with us. Chris hit the nail on the head when he said afterward that she was ape-shit for volunteering information about herself. Among the non-sequitur gems:

• "I'm so drunk. Can you tell how drunk I am? I'm so sorry." She didn't look or sound drunk at all.
• "Morrissey ruined my life. Morrissey... do you know The Smiths? He ruined my life." Oh, did you know him or something? "No, just a fan."
• "I work with really fucked up people, like meth addicts and stuff? And this woman I'm counseling on the phone, I say to her 'Hey, do you want to talk to my wonderful husband who I just got married to?' And she just hangs up on me!"
• "The projects, man. Those places are dangerous! They'll kill you just for walking in there!" Chris suggests that the projects are not as quite bad as she might think. "I'll drive you right down there and drop you off; we'll see how long you last! I've been living in this city long enough to know how bad it is. Those people will kill you!" How long have you been living here? "About three months now. I keep a carton of eggs and a head of lettuce in the back seat of my car in case anyone tries to mess with me."

Eventually we managed to shake her and her effeminate husband who was a dead ringer for Alan Cumming. Chris threw a chair at me and then pissed on it. Then, as we were leaving, he threw some beer cans off the roof, in spite of Bill begging him not to, and as we were on our way downstairs, this other woman, who must have seen the cans go by her window, came into the stairwell and started giving us what-for. "We're trying to create a living community here," she said. Chris pointed out that the cans had most certainly not hit her porch, but she said he was an asshole. After she went back inside, Billy said, "You don't understand, Chris. I have to deal with that woman every... day."

On Monday, I checked out Kevin Wasserman's BBQ, which is always delightful, though my stomach was kind of upset, and then I headed over to K-Flo's, to check out the fireworks. Unfortunately, I left Kevin's a bit late, so by the time I got to Katherine's everyone was up on the roof and couldn't hear the buzzer. So I went to go find a pay phone so I could call someone's cell and have them let me in, but the nearest pay phone was 3 looong blocks away and fucking broken to boot. The next one I found was in the foyer of this stinky bar and was always broken or turned off; the third one ate all my money and kept asking for 55 cents more. Finally this guy at a deli let me use his phone for free, so I left Tom a message to come down and let me in. By that time, of course, it had all started, so I headed back to Katherine's and watched the fireworks on her stoop. I gotta say, I get less and less impressed with the whole thing every year. I like the fireworks that are bright and have lots of glittery sparks / effluvia / etc., but the most popular ones always seem to be the ones that just go "pop" and spread chintzy-colored dots all over the sky. Uck.

The Boca Burgers I just made were cold inside and floppy, but that doesn't stop the cats from fiendin' for a taste.

I bought this book Forever, upon Emma's official B&N recommendation, to read when I'm done with DQ.