Tuffy Tuffins Sings The Blues

Last night I went out for dinner and drinks with my old friend Eve, who I'd stood up the night before when I got stuck in Manhattan. I had a bunch of errands to do on the way, so I gave myself an extra long time to get there, like an hour and a half, and then, wouldn't you know it, I got to our appointed meeting place with an hour to kill in the freezing cold. If I'd had a cell phone, I guess I could've called her house and come over or had her meet me, but I don't have one for another few days at least, so. So I tried to think of what one of my cool friends would do were he/she in a situation like this, and the answer is "go to a bar and have a drink and maybe meet a pretty girl while you are sitting by yourself at the bar." So I walked up and down Smith St. for a while peeking in the windows of all the bars and trying muster up the courage to be the only person in an empty bar or the only single person in a bar crowded with corporate happy-hour revelers. And I couldn't do it, which was humiliating and depressing, so I ducked into the Cafe St. Clair, as recommended by T. Rounsaville, and had the loneliest cup of hot chocolate ever, feeling like the most pathetic and small creature ever to spend Christmas by himself. And after that I was still 30 minutes early, so I wandered in and out of some of the trendy little boutiques on Smith. I found this one place selling little house and home trinkets, and in one corner of the store they had this bucket of old comic books from the 70s, some of which must have been at least a little valuable, and which included such titles as Kull The Destroyer and Devil Dinosaur. Then I read the Voice for a while on the street. Here's some more of my dealings with tuffytuffins:

(23:25:03) tuffytuffins: Did you miss me?
(23:55:26) Nintendo Julian: Who... who are you?
(23:55:32) tuffytuffins: You did. Didn't you?
(23:56:21) tuffytuffins: It's OK. I missed you too.
(23:57:44) tuffytuffins: Are you there? Please don't ignore me!
(23:57:50) Nintendo Julian: Look.
(23:57:54) Nintendo Julian: What... what's the deal?
(23:57:55) tuffytuffins: I think I am in love with you.
(23:58:03) Nintendo Julian: Alright, that's enough.
(23:58:09) tuffytuffins: Why are you toying with my emotions?

Then Eve showed up and we went to this great Peruvian restaurant with a menu distinctly similar to the venerable Coco Roco's. We ordered a plate of ceviche to start with, which I'd never had before and which was absolutely delicious. My spirits picked up after I got some food in me and warmed up (the cold can really put a damper on brain function), and we chatted about life and love and how awful things can seem sometimes. Then we hoofed it over to Angry Wades and had some drinks and managed, by increments, to secure the seat next to the fireplace again, though we had to share it with one of the off-shift bartenders who was reading a Robert Jordan novel, of all things. He revealed that the fireplace is, in fact, not real -- it burns natural gas and the logs are all ceramic. Which doesn't make it any less cozy. After that we took a walk over to the Gowanus Canal and watched the moon for a while, which is when we noticed a train going by over the elevated tracks around Smith and 9th, which clued us in that the strike was, in fact, completely over. And then I went home.

(00:11:46) tuffytuffins: Well I guess we can only be friends.
(00:12:01) Nintendo Julian: If that. Who are you?
(00:12:11) tuffytuffins: I'm your new friend.
(00:12:29) Nintendo Julian: Alright, I think I've had enough of you.
(00:12:34) tuffytuffins: Why?
(00:12:41) Nintendo Julian: I want to know who you are.
(00:12:47) tuffytuffins: You want my name? Why do we need labels?
(00:12:55) Nintendo Julian: Because this is creepy is why.
(00:13:06) tuffytuffins: What is creepy?
(00:13:11) tuffytuffins: Friendship?

So what are we all doing for Christmas? Some of you are away, I know, but I have presents for practically all of you, and wouldn't it be nice if we all sort of sat down and did the presents thing in one shot? Everyone's going to that New Year's Eve party, right? What if we all showed up a little early to that and traded gifts before the party really got underway. I'm just saying. And I totally want to do the whole Jew holiday thing the week of the 26th; we can do it at my place or yours.

(00:13:13) Nintendo Julian: Where did you get my name?
(00:13:40) tuffytuffins: I searched for people who like Nintendo.
(00:13:47) tuffytuffins: I like Duck Hunt.
(00:13:57) Nintendo Julian: Alright.
(00:14:10) tuffytuffins: Then you were very nice.
(00:14:17) tuffytuffins: And that's when I fell in love with you.
(00:14:19) Nintendo Julian: I'm going to block you.
(00:14:34) tuffytuffins: No friendship?

The kicker is that I wasn't actually able to block her using my weird Linux AIM client, so she's still out there somewhere, waiting. I'm still sort of hoping this is someone I know in disguise, in which case the joke's on me but which will also mean I won't have had a totally creepy exchange with a female version of the main character from Notes From Underground.