Single White Shemale

[11:36] Me: so I leered at her tits all night
[11:36] Tom: That doesn't sound like you.
[11:36] Tom: It must've been really liberating to finally do something "creepy."

I'm writing this at work. In other words, the strike did not go down -- they're going to "phase it in," starting with the private bus companies in the outer boroughs. My commute was a disaster, though, because of a "very sick passenger" at 4th Ave., one stop away from my house. They stopped the train for like 20 minutes in the tunnel, and then announced, loudly and repeatedly, that if we didn't want to wait any longer, we could walk to the front of the train and exit up there. So I stayed on board, because, you know, fuck it. Then a little while later they said that we all actually had to get off because the train was going out of service. So I queued up with everyone else and eventually made it to the middle of the train, at which point the conductor came on again and told us all to sit down because we were actually going to start moving again. The whole thing took about 45 minutes, no lie. The worst part was that I was sitting right near this revolting old I-Ti / Hispanic lady who would not shut up talking, apropos of nothing, to these two Muslim girls sitting right next to me whom she'd just met. I guess there's some reading of second-and-third-world culture in which complainy old women are sort of exercising some kind of powerful social force with the yakking and the clucking and the whining, but come on, people. The highlights:

• "He got so bad, with the gangrene, that he was rolling around in the car. Some people might say in that situation that death is better than living, but not me. Because when someone dies you lose something 'dat you love, right?"
• "They do the fistula surgery on her, and two weeks later, she's back driving the emergency truck, you know, to rescue people what needs help. It's not fair; there's no recovery time. And now the doctors're tellin' her there's another fistula."
• "At first, I thought it was funny, my niece, with the lipstick, but this morning I woke up and there's lipstick all over the walls! My niece, she so cute, you know that she loves her mama because anyone else tries to talk to her, she be screamin', screamin', and she don't never stop."

Okay, so these don't sound too funny in retrospect, but just imagine these two nervous Muslim girls covered up in their weird little insane-person headdresses nervously spinning the wheels on their iPods and praying that this woman with her wheedling, whiny voice will just STFU.

But I finally got in (at around 11:00) and stopped off at Han's to get a delicious breakfast sandwich: Egg, provolone, tomato, and bacon, on whole wheat toast. I recommend you give it a spin the next time you're eatin'.