21 Days Later

Well, I haven't posted in this thing for a while. Sorry! I just haven't felt like it. Nothing's really happened. My fingernail is probably going to fall off; this realization is something that would have totally freaked me out when I was a kid, but now... not so much. It doesn't really hurt that much, it just feels sort of, you know, exposed. Which isn't even as bad as it sounds. My stomach's been shitty for the past week or so, too. Yesterday I decided to top my breakfast off with several handfuls of these japaleno potato chips that Mer brought home and the rest of the day I felt so crappy I couldn't eat anything.

Sometimes when I'm between books, I browse reviews on Amazon until I find something that sounds interesting, then I try to get it out of the library. I found this book called I Am Legend like this last week, but it totally sucked. The premise is awesome, though -- it's set in a future (1976 -- it was written in 1954) where a plague has turned the entire world except this one guy into vampires. Now I'm reading The Dante Club about a spate of Se7en-style murders in 1865 Boston -- also a rockin' premise with a lackluster execution.

I bought Jade Empire for Mer the day it came out. She had me go look for it in Manhattan since it was sold out at the GameStop on 7th Ave. It took me a while, but I found a copy at the GameStop on 8th St. & Broadway (Razor Lopez may remember it as a Software Etc.), and let me tell you -- that place is chock-a-block with dorks. As I was waiting in line, this creepy guy standing behind me turned to me unprovoked and said, in a halting, nasal voice, "I hear that game is like Knights of the Old Republic and Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords except that there are more choices and the choices have deeper consequences." Neat. The only copy on the shelf was wedged into that display they have that shows you the current top 5 games, and I wasn't sure if it was for sale, so I asked the cashier when I got to the front of the line. He said, "Sure, but I don't know if we sell to Romulans." I was kind of nonplussed until I looked down and realized I was wearing my Star Trek shirt with the Romulan insignia on it. So we all had a good laugh, and one of the salespeople started going off about this guy he knew that bottles his own Klingon Blood Wine. The cashier was even nice enough to let me have the last copy of the Limited Edition version of the game, which was in the case behind the register. "Same price, but you get an extra playable character and an extra fighting style. It's basically a no-brainer." Indeed.

John Paul II's Greatest Hits

Good riddance to that disgraceful fascist.

“Although the particular inclination of the homosexual person is not a sin, it is a more or less strong tendency ordered toward an intrinsic moral evil; thus the inclination itself must be seen as an objective disorder. Therefore special concern and pastoral attention should be directed to those who have this condition, lest they be led to believe that the living out of this orientation in homosexual activity is a morally acceptable option. It is not.”

"The Church has always taught the intrinsic evil of contraception, that is, if every marital act intentionally rendered unfruitful. This teaching is to be held as definitive and irreformable. Contraception is gravely opposed to marital chastity; it is contrary to the good of the transmission of life (the procreative aspect of matrimony) and to the reciprocal self-giving of the spouses (the unitive aspect of matrimony); it harms true love and denies the sovereign role of God in the transmission of life."

"The fact that the Blessed Virgin Mary, Mother of God and Mother of the Church, received neither the mission proper to the Apostles nor the ministerial priesthood clearly shows that the non-admission of women to priestly ordination cannot mean that women are of lesser dignity, nor can it be construed as discrimination against them. Rather, it is to be seen as the faithful observance of a plan to be ascribed to the wisdom of the Lord of the universe.... In order that all doubt may be removed regarding a matter of great importance, a matter which pertains to the Church's divine constitution itself, in virtue of my ministry of confirming the brethren I declare that the Church has no authority whatsoever to confer priestly ordination on women and that this judgment is to be definitively held by all the Church's faithful."

That Revolting Zombie In The Vatican

Seriously, I could not be "praying" harder for that disgusting old hate-monger to kick the incontinent-urine-filled bucket. What I don't get is the legions of monstrous ignoramuses swaying and gibbering like retards and wishing for him to hold on for, what, a few more days? Guys, your whole bullshit delusion is predicated on your infatuation with death; you should all be cheering for it harder than I am.

This week's been pretty fulfilling, Thanatos-wise, what with that Terri buying it and Jerry Falwell looking pretty close to it himself. (As far as prayers go, Marc Maron had the best one for Falwell: That he be pounded into the earth like a nail by a falling chunk of frozen blue airplane urine and have it slowly melt into his mouth as he lies dying.) Unfortunately, the week's fatalities also include comic prodigy Mitch Hedberg. I shit you not, guys -- he's fuckin' dead. MTV said heart attack, but, no offense, I feel like his heart was probably attacked by a bottle of pills and a couple of six packs.

I was goind to post the following on my Advogato diary, but I don't know how well it would go over there.

So, on the 26th, as I mentioned, I took the Chinatown Bus to Boston to attend the Free Software Foundation's annual Associate Member's meeting -- the price of membership buys you a day of lectures from the FSF's board. (For those of you who don't feel like to trying to grok their mission statement, you may think of the FSF as a kind of ACLU for software.) The first bus arrives in Boston at 11:00ish, so I missed the first couple of speakers, but here's what happened after I got there:

Henri Poole gave a short talk about the usefulness of community-building web tools for grassroots political campaigns, particularly as observed during the 2004 Howard Dean campaign. Interestingly enough, he recommended Drupal, the base system for CivicSpace; I'd evaluated it while trying to set up undecidable.net and found it to be the most polished but also, in some ways, the least featureful. Henri was careful to emphasize that the FSF is nonpartisan, but most of the questions from the audience were geared towards our currently uncomfortable political position; weirdly enough, several people asked about the "Dean scream."

Gerald Sussman was the next up; his talk was about the history of Engineering. The majority of it was devoted to historical data about the people behind various engineering innovations, as an illustration of the way in which scientists and engineers facilitate eachothers' work -- doing new science requires the invention of new tools, and the resulting discoveries themselves lead to further applications. Towards the end he introduced the problem of process patents, which interrupt this cycle by preventing research from feeding back into the scientific community. The audience didn't have many questions, except for a Russian-sounding guy in the first row who kept insisting that he could prove that all patents, not just process patents, were harmful -- Sussman disagreed, citing some of Edison's patents that led to the electrification of New York City, and required protection so that funding could be secured. (Not an subject I know that much about, admittedly...)

Then there was lunch -- I talked to a few people I was sharing a table with, including a guy who used to work on iPhoto at Apple (he's a GNOME hacker now).

After lunch, Eben Moglen gave a great speech about the legal and financial status of the FSF over the course of the past year. He made a number of interesting revelations, which I here re-reveal, in no particular order:

• The FSF was subpoenaed multiple times for various documents related to the SCO v. IBM trial; some of these subpoenas they took great care to respond to, others they simply ignored
• They've (the FSF) managed to acquire a few million dollars in the bank in gifts from some rather weathy corporate donors
• The latest threatening rumblings, as far as Free Software goes, have been related to patents, and, like the SCO debacle, are traceable back to Microsoft, though perhaps more directly this time than before -- he's been hearing reports of what he called "muggings" on the part of Microsoft, which go as follows: A CEO of a Fortune 500 company receives an invitation to dinner with Steve Ballmer or Craig Mundie; when he shows up, the CEO finds out that, in fact, he's having a meeting with a bevy of Microsoft lawyers who inform him that if his company goes with Free Software, they're opening themselves up to a range of patent-related lawsuits; the lawyers claim to have a detailed analysis of the legal liabilities faced by this CEO's company, but in order to see it, he's gotta sign an NDA -- and in some cases, this NDA says he can't discuss their findings with a lawyer -- any lawyer -- a stipulation that Moglen was pretty sure is illegal.
• Using some the money they've amassed this year, the FSF is opening a legal wing called the Software Freedom Law Center that's going to expand the Foundation's role in representing the developers of Free Software developers in cases dealing with things like GPL violations and patent infringement. He wants to recruit 15 young technically sophisticated law school graduates. The FSF is already assisting projects such as WINE, Plone, PostgreSQL, Apache, and Samba.

He also had some prognostications for what he'd be talking about at next year's meeting:

• He predicted that patent aggression from Microsoft would be the most significant concern for Free Software; a patent showdown of some sort, probably over XML document format interoperability (i.e., MS Office vs. OpenOffice.org), wouldn't be a matter of if but rather a matter of when.
• Fortunately, "when" would probably not be until 2008, owing to the precarious status of Windows Longhorn and vendor demand for "server" versions of their "desktop" offerings. By that time, Moglen said, the FSF would be well prepared to handle whatever Microsoft throws on the table.
• In the meantime, he said, they'd be working on the new version of the GPL, among other things.

Overall, his speech was very upbeat. The FSF was in great shape, he said, despite what it's been through over the past few years. His closing line drew lots of clapping and desk-pounding: "We have earned some political capital, and we intend to spend it."

One of the reasons I went to the meeting in the first place was to hear RMS, and he was next to take the podium. I was a bit surprised by his speech (not least of all by his voice -- it's actually kind of nasal, not at all like Goliath from Davey and Goliath like I imagined) -- the topic had been given beforehand as an explanation of the need for a Free BIOS, but he ended up just rattling off a list of bullet points:

• A Free BIOS is necessary to avoid the entanglements introduced by Treacherous Computing initiatives (Treacherous Computing is Stallman's name for Trusted Computing; he had to explain this to the Russian guy in the first row who couldn't believe an industry group would label their products 'Treacherous').
• Because of the refusal of most major GNU/Linux distributions to cease including non-Free Software, the FSF has heretofore been unable to endorse any particular distribution. Stallman announced that Ututo GNU/Linux, an all-Free Software distribution, would be the officially recommended FSF GNU/Linux distribution.
• The following improvements were on the table (but not set in stone) for the GPL v3.0:
  • Improved compatibility with other Free Software licenses
  • Better support for linking Free Software libraries with non-Free Software
  • A "retaliation clause" to punish licensees who participate in aggressive patent prosecution (this one seems kind of ill-advised to me)

After each sentence he had to clear his throat -- I feel like he might have been a bit under the weather. When he was finished, he opened the floor to questions. The vast majority were asinine what-if challenges to the language of the GPL (e.g., what if I license my program to someone under a non-Free license until they donate X dollars, at which point I release it to them under the GPL -- is that okay?), which Stallman rightly said he wasn't willing to discuss. Novalis, who, I think, is the FSF webmaster, piped up from the first row and fielded some of them whenever RMS started really laying into someone. Perhaps sensing that the discussion was straying a bit too much Henri Poole raised his hand in the back of the room and asked Stallman what his vision for the next 20 years was, seeing as how it was more or less the FSF's 20th anniversary. Stallman said he didn't have a "vision."

"Well, then, what do you see happening in the next 20 years?"
"Fascism."
"Fascism? That's your vision for the next 20 years?"

RMS had put his feet up on the desk so that he was reclining odelisque-like. He said that the U.S. government was basically obliterating everything that was good about life, period. "Doesn't the pendulum swing both ways?" someone asked. RMS didn't think it had ever swung this far right for so long before. At this point, the moderators thought it prudent to get the next speaker on stage.

It was Larry Lessig, who you may remember from his appearance on The West Wing, or his book Free Culture, or for just being an all-around genius. His talk was accompanied by a PowerPoint presentation in which the slide transitions were fairly exactly synchronized with his spoken words -- neat! What he talked about was kind of a re-tread of the things he wrote about in Free Culture, basically that people who produce creative works are always building on what's come before them (a process he refers to as "remixing"), whether or not it's obvious from looking at their final product, and that we, as a society, are in a uniquely restrictive climate when it comes to the rights of creative producers to do this as a result of overly restrictive copyright laws (which stem, in part, he thinks, from the inability of lawmakers to address the fact that digital use of copyrighted materials unavoidably creates copies). He talked a bit about his Creative Commons project, which provides and promotes the use of custom and varyingly "free" licenses for creative work, to allow creators to permit selected "remixing" of their work without giving up other rights. He'd made a rather cryptic remark at the beginning of his speech about how he might have to run for the exit after the audience heard the claims he was going to make, which turned out to be:

• The Free Software movement should get more involved in the production of Free creative software products, to facilitate the creation of culture in the developing and third world
• We should promote the concepts of freedom to creative content producers all over the world, even if the creators are unwilling / unable to produce their work on Free Software platforms.

It was a very good speech, even if I'd already heard most of it before. When Lessig finished talking, Stallman stood up in the back and said, "The Free Software Foundation will never support the use of any non-Free Software platform."

Thus began a half-hour long argument between the two of them in which the audience and Eben Moglen eventually had to intervene. Lessig argued that you could certainly urge creative producers in parallel to support both Free licensing and Free Software, but it would be a mistake to write anybody off (and potentially lose out on the production of creative work) simply because they wanted to make their art in Macromedia Flash. Stallman said that freedom was more important that creativity and that there was no excuse, period, for endorsing non-Free Software in any context, even by looking the other way while promoting creative freedom. Their argument got fairly heated -- at one point, Stallman asked Lessig why he'd think it was a good idea to give a speech like this, and Lessig replied, "I'm going to a board meeting tomorrow and you said that the price of going to the board meeting was coming here and giving a talk." Rowr. So eventually Moglen stood up and said that he thought the intersection of creative freedom and Free Software was going to be a huge issue and that it might be a good idea for the FSF to devote a great deal more effort towards producing Free versions of popular pieces of creative software, like Flash. After some more back and forth between RMS and Lessig, the audience started to disperse and gather around each dude.

I packed up my stuff and hopped back on the bus. It was very cold when I got back to NYC; an aggressive bum at the East Broadway subway station asked if he could have the contents of my Au Bon Pain bag, and I gave it to him, but you know what? I wasn't done yet.

Waiter, More Gorp Please

I've been pushing myself pretty hard at work recently, in part because I'm working on something I actually want to finish, instead of some dead-end bit of test code that exposes at most one bug, once. The upshot of gunning it, though, is that I'm pretty worn out once I get home, and I'm constantly on edge with the fear of not making the deadlines and thus disappointing everyone.

Tomorrow I'm going, like I fucking said, to the FSF Associate Members Meeting, and I dare any and all of you to stop me. I ran like 2/3 of the way around the Park today, so just fucking try to catch me. Just try to stop me.

My fingernail was obscenely painful most of last week. Come Saturday, though, it all of a sudden felt a whole lot better and got a whole lot grosser-looking -- the nail's all purple and brown now. As a side-effect, I haven't been biting my other nails at all, and they've all grown out -- I look like a normal person. It's getting pretty difficult, though (I nibbled 'em a bit just now). I used to work with this mullet-head MCSE whose swore that he'd quit drinking and quit coke but couldn't stop biting his nails (and they were a mess).

Last week we saw The Ring 2, and it was not, you know, very good. Tonight we saw Melinda & Melinda, and that wasn't good, either, though comedian Will Ferrell and hacker Johnny Lee Miller both do very good Woody Allen impressions. Oh god, I just saw this comment on IMDB: "I hope they don't decide to make The Ring 3. If they do, I'll just wait for it to come out on video." But you'll still watch it, huh? Pathetic.

What do people think of the NBC version of The Office? I'm trying to stay open-minded about it.

Meanwhile, Jerkcity asks the important questions.

Rosario Dawson Touched My Arm

Seriously, she did; she's like... the hottest woman alive. I'm sorry, everyone -- it's true. But yeah, she totally wanted to look at my bingo sheet at Ted's thing last Monday.

Today at work I was peeling my customary orange and I guess it wasn't ripe enough or something, 'cuz when I dug my index finger under the cut I made in the peel it didn't give, and when I pulled really hard, the rind went right up underneath my fingernail. Wow -- it was (and is) very, very painful. It was bleeding copiously; now it's just oozing pus. My theory is that a piece of orange rind got stuck up in there and the acidity is what makes it so murderously hurty. The nail shows no sign of coming off at the moment, but we'll see. Jesus Christ. Makes it very difficult to type.

I vacuumed this morning; got a haircut before work. I'm so tired.

But Miff Dwifcoll, My Muvvah Just Died

Look, I just filed my tax return and I'm basically not getting any frickin' money back. In fact, if I hadn't given money to charity and itemized deductions this year, I'd owe money to the government. Am I member of that exploited "middle" class that get so much Air America-airplay? Jesus.

I was pruning the lemon tree a few days ago, and do you know what? Lemon tree sap smells like lemons!

Ugh, feces explosion. I didn't sleep well at all last night and was groggy and confused all day as a result.

Mer and I went to the best restaurant on Saturday night -- it's on 5th Ave. between 6th and 7th, and carries the rather unfortunate name Coco Roco. It's Peruvian food, which seems to be like, really tasty, fruity Mexican food with much, much more fish and seafood. We had (what I think were) deep-fried mashed potatoes filled with pico de gallo and a little shredded beef and then I had some bass and some very good paella-like thing; Mer had sweet-potato crusted snapper and plantains. $12-13 for an entree -- a steal considering how good the food is.

We rented a couple of movies, too: The Fisher King, which is, I'm sorry to say, a ponderous mess (although it was cool to see those shots of my old high school that they took while I was attending; they added this whole extra stone arch-way / entrance thing that totally isn't there in real life); and Tape, which was also a ponderous mess, though I should say Mer watched a lot of it without me.

Shadow Hearts continues to be retarded: The game referred, the last time I was playing it, to a series of "grizzly murders."

Further adventures in the search for a good portal system -- I don't think what I'm asking for is totally outside the realm of reasonability, but the fates seem to be allied against me on this one. Here's what I want:

• The ability to manage / publish / organize discrete documents, such as papers, photo essays, etc.
• The ability to do the same for web-logs hosted on the portal site itself
• A calendar that I could use to remember events like birthdays and things would be nice

...but the most important thing is

• Being able to import individual news items from external RSS feeds and seamlessly mingle them with content published locally

And nobody seems to be able to do that! If a package allows importing RSS feeds at all, it's always in a block of headlines kept separate from everything else. Like I think I said earlier, this package called Drupal *almost* lets me do what I want, but it requires a plugin that's no longer supported by its author. Then, today, I found what seemed to be the perfect package, something called ezPublish -- it would have been perfect, except that for some goddamn reason it requires 12 megs of RAM at runtime; the default configuration for PHP (which is in effect at our ISP) caps memory usage at 8 megs (for good reason). WTF?! Here's the thing, though -- I figured out how to override the ISP's default, but after reading our ISP's Terms of Service, it sounded like doing so might be pushing it (and the account is in M-Biddy's name), so I didn't do it. Fuck.

Snikt!

Mer's in Boston, but she's coming home now!

While she was gone, I rented Code 46, starring Tim Robbins and Samantha Morton. TK. Samantha Morton is totally hot and you get to see her bush -- it's shaved! -- in this dirty little scene where she's trying to get away from Tim Robbins as her tries to put it to her. She wants it and also doesn't want it.

Ugh, so far the entire weekend has been spent programming. I need to... something.

You know, if I were a producer for the amateur shit on It's Showtime At The Apollo, I would stop booking white guys in sweater vests that play classical violin. Because even if they're really good, what's the audience supposed to say about it? Fuck, I'm just watching at home and I don't even know what to say. Wop, wop.

After breakfast today (Sunday), Mer went to get printer paper and I went to Gamestop, and while I was there, I made an impulse purchase: Shadow Hearts: Covenant. Mostly I got it because Tycho and Gabe liked it (word of mouth advertising!), and I can see why they did. The visual style definitely grows on you -- and the game is "fun," mind you -- but the dialog is just... ugh. Half of what the characters say to each other is throwaway gibberish, like, "He he" (I payed $30 to hear / read someone say "He he?"), and the other half is the most patently cliched "character development." Why, for example, does there need to be, in every stupid cookie-cutter Japanese role-playing game, a character who's got a tough, confident exterior (Squall Leonheart, I'm looking at you), but who gets thrown completely off guard when the needlessly bossy supporting female character gets up in his face? Japan's got girl trouble, I tell you what. The best part is, they used a third-party "localization" company to help them translate it -- to the extent that this company's logo comes up when you start the game -- and the fucking thing still sounds like it was written by one of the human characters in Pokemon.

I maintain there could be a totally sweet RPG that takes place in the context of WW1 (like Shadow Hearts) or, better yet, WW2 -- provided it's not written by idiots.

I am definitely, definitely doing this come March 26th.

Funny Banana At The Allergist

So I took the day off work to day to take the cat to the skin doctor. It was totally rainy and awful, just like when we brought her home for the first time, and the appointment took several hours and was very expensive, but she's now on this allergy therapy that has a pretty good chance of permanently solving her constant chewing / biting problems. Plus, they put this totally adorable little shirt on her to stop her chewing in the interim that she totally hates. She's acting like it makes it so she can't walk, but I'm pretty sure she's full of shit on that one. UPDATE: We had to take the shirt off her because it was time to go to work and we weren't sure if she'd be able to go to the bathroom.

I hung out with my friend Chris yesterday. It was great! We took a walk around Prospect Park and narrowly avoided some predatory brothers on the down-low.

Later on, in our continuing attempts to make vegetarian dishes that are un-revolting, I cooked up our recent favorite, spicy sausage with broccoli and pasta, using Gimme Lean imitation sausage in place of the real thing. It went over pretty well, even with Chris -- he says he's moving in vegetarian circles himself after getting the low-down on how cows get slaughtered in halal kitchens. Apparently it's pretty uncomfortable for them and they make a pretty awful noise. "Why do they have to do that? Why can't they just... shut up?" wonders Chris.

"...And die?"

"Yeah. Just shut up and die."

Mer and I went to the library last weekend and checked out a couple of books. I picked up Children of Cthulhu, which should do a lot towards sating my appetite for awful garbage. A lot of the stories are just the worst sort of... ugh. Just baldly expository nonsense that reveal exactly what was on the author's hack brain when he was writing it -- which is ironic, because the editors wrote this foreword about how uninspired most Lovecraftian fiction usually is. Well. It's a lonely world for people who really, really like Cthulhu.

So I've been trying out some web-portal software to get undecidable.net up and running -- here's what I'm thinking would be cool (this is mostly for M-Biddy's benefit): It's like a news portal that you can log into with your own account, and once you're inside, you can customize this, like, digest of RSS feeds come in, out of list of available sources. Basically anything that publishes a feed, so things like Slashdot but also like any blog on Blogspot, for example, or my Advogato diary. And you see it all in this continuously updated custom personal news page, kind of like Slashdot's front page, but with stories from all different sources all mixed in together. And for people who don't have accounts on the site, maybe the front page of the portal we can use for publishing little essays and things, like those wireless papers you were working on way back when. So. What do you think? I'm still evaluating different portal systems -- none of them seem to do exactly what I want.

Don't Call People 'Sweetie'

What are we, Harvey Fierstein? Seriously.

For fuck's sake -- FireFox just crashed and I lost a whole entry. And that was like, a week ago. I get sick of this thing sometimes. Long story short: Last weekend, Mer and I went ice-skating in Prospect Park and then had dinner at Junior's, cheesecake capitol of the world. We took the bus home, horribly stuffed and woozy. Mer said, on the bus, "Well, we'll always remember the time we ate dinner at Junior's."

Now it's a week later. I've moved my shit onto my new pad, undecidable.net. Kelly Clarkson just played some shit on SNL; she was wearing this top that was cut down to her pelvis and she has, like, no tits, which was sort of hot. It would also have been, you know, sorta if she had bigger tits. So, you know. Whatever.

Bill's at the Grannys. I mean the Grammys. I'm writing Scheme.

I Am Getting Kind Of Arrogant

I had this dream just this last night that I was at my dentist's office rescheduling an appointment I'd made for a cleaning and had showed up too late for, and who should I see in the waiting room but the hon. Rudy Giuliani! He sees me write my name down on a form and he goes, "So, Julian, what do you do for a living?" and I reply, no joke, "I enable the economy of this city, you creep" (whatever the fuck that means). He got kind of visibly flustered and muttered something about being careful about who I shoot my mouth off to and how I should hope nobody has a file on me, etc. I go, "Oh spare me, you fucking monster." Muh?

Later on in the dream I was at some kind of college graduation party, and happened to be standing near enough to the president and his daughters to hear him say that he'd selected the wine being served at the party because "it smoothly blended the lotion of childhood with the lotion of adulthood." WTF? I remember tittering to a group of faceless sardonic friends, "Lotion? There's lotion in the wine? The wine is poisoned!" I don't even get it, though. Lotion?

I am so goddamn sick of the pathetic antics of the assorted capons and centrists in the DNC and the Senate. Jesus Christ, people, either grow a pair like Barbara Boxer or... you know, get off the pot. I'll tell you one thing, though -- I'm not voting for them any more.

Creighton Sings the News

Okay, what's in the news? This, for one thing.

McCook County State's Attorney Roger Gerlach says the proposed ordinance is not an attempt to put him out of business: "As long as they have some opaque clothing over the crucial parts of the human body, they can dance all they want."

Jesus Christ that makes me mad. Look, I don't to live in your shitty little town if I can't see some goddamn titties when I damn well please. And you want me in your town: I'm rich; I shovel the walk when it snows; I can internet enable shit. Fuck.

How much are we all praying for the fuckhead Pope to die? The unwanted and uncared-for children of the Mary-worshippers and assorted savages to whom he forbade birth control should be given the privilege of pelting him to death with industrial waste as he lies wheezing and twitching like a monster in a filthy birdcage on the floor of the U.N.

M-Biddy and I have registered a domain together and are goin' in on some hosting together. So look for undecidable.net to make an appearance in the next couple of days. Yuh-harrr!

My grandma sent us a set of plates and cups with pictures of birds on them that she got as part of a donation to the Audubon Society about a month ago, and I just wrote her a thank-you note. I happened to be reading this Robert Penn Warren poem called Audobon in Norton on the ride home, so I quoted her the bit below, but I naively wrote that the name of the poem was "From Audubon." Oh well, envelope sealed:

Their footless dance

Is of the beautiful liability of their nature.

Their eyes are round, boldly convex, bright as a jewel,

And merciless. They do not know

Compassion, and if they did,

We should not be worthy of it. They fly

In air that glitters like fluent crystal

And is hard as perfectly transparent iron, they cleave it

With no effort. They cry

In a tongue multitudinous,often like music.

Look, I'm not some homo that quotes poetry in his 'blog all the time. I promise I won't do it again for a while.

Take It Sleazy

Sometimes its hard to get these little entries finished. You know, I start them, and then... I don't know. When I get home from work I don't really always feel like writing in the 'blog.

So the cat has been acting real suspicious around the kitchen, spending most of her time in there, always with her nose to the ground, peeking under the stove and refridgerator in particular. Well, the other day, she ran into the living room with real goddamn live mouse (well, mouse-baby) in her mouth. We didn't even think we had mice! Guess they came in from the cold. Anyway, though, she's chomping it and spitting it out and whacking around, and eventually, man, this mouse is fucking dead. But she's still batting it around, so Mer and I make a move to take it away from her -- I'm advancing on her with the broom and dustpan -- and she does not like this at all. So what she does is, she just fucking swallows the whole thing on the spot! The whole thing! I've never heard of a cat actually eating the things it kills. Yeah, but anyway, she also happens to be wearing this Elizabethan collar that's supposed to stop her from chewing on herself (it doesn't) but now it's got mouse guts all over it. So we had to pin her down, take off the collar and wash it, and then put it back on.

Apparently she threw up in the collar the other day and that was much worse, but it happened on Mer's watch, so I don't really have any salient details. Maybe she'll put it in her thing.

What else, what else... oh yeah -- if you like XML and you like Scheme, then you may or may not like my SDOM, but you should still help me out with it, because god damn it it's a lot of work.

Oh shit I just farted pretty loud, at work. I'm here real early though (it's 8:15 right now) so I don't think anyone heard. I'm gonna go take a shit, I think.

How good does this movie look?

Lizard 2005!

...I mean, blizzard... 2005. So the snow (and forecasts of doom) started at noon yesterday, and were finished promptly at noon today. I took a few pictures. We even trudged out to Prospect Park, where there was some marathon sledding shit going on, but the picture I took there didn't get recorded by my piece-of-crap camera.

Router, Care-Bear pillow, Kleenex, The Making of a Poem, and, oh yeah -- fuckin' snow!	The bathroom: We're snowed in!
Is this not the cutest thing you have ever seen?

My sister, genious (sic):

(19:41:53) [My Sister]: is grace an ugly fat girl name or a hot beautiful blonde name
(19:41:56) [My Sister]: in your opinion
(19:42:03) Nintendo Julian: depends
(19:42:07) Nintendo Julian: how fat is the girl
(19:42:27) [My Sister]: pretty fat id say
(19:42:36) Nintendo Julian: Mer and I say hot beautiful blonde
(19:43:00) [My Sister]: your wrong
(19:43:04) [My Sister]: its fat ugly girl
(19:43:07) [My Sister]: with braces
(19:43:08) Nintendo Julian: well... alright
(19:43:16) [My Sister]: that or old lady

Fucking Z-Bots!

Rebuilding for like... the 5th fucking time today, no joke. Jesus. The past week or so at work has been so profoundly boring that all I've been doing is reloading my HoTMaiL and Gmail windows in the hopes that someone will contact me. No one has! Fagits!

Some people don't like jerkcity, but I do. Here are some good ones:

• COOL AS ICE
• WINE AND CHEESE
• DEAR DOCTOR DONG
• ONE MORE TIME
• THERE ARE NO PRIZES INVOLVED

It's not for everyone, I guess.

I have decided to cut myself some slack, a little, on my spare-time programming, because it makes me really exhausted and headache-y. Like I know I've mentioned before, the language I'm writing in right now requires that you construct your code in a less... straightforward way, the end result being that at "execution" time, it "evaluates" like a beautiful blooming flower instead of coursely ejaculating like a hairy, sequentially-oriented gaijin Jew bastard. So.

Stallman goes for, does not get the girl.

• How To Draw A Bunny - Rocks!
• The Village - Sucks!
• The Distillers: Distillers - Rocks!

Reading the Larry Lessig book that the FSF sent me as part of my membership package -- persuasive to say the least. If you've ever wanted to let yourself off the hook for all the MP3s you download... well. No, that's not really what it's about. Let me know if any of y'all want it when I'm done (I actually just finished it right now at work), otherwise I'm givin' it to the liberry.

In other news, we got a rather baffling answering machine message a few days ago. Here's my best attempt at piecing it together. As you can tell from listening, the speaker had a rather heavy European accent.

Hey [Julian?]. Uh... It's Alex. How are you? Heh. How are you and where are you? Ah, I am in... uh... in Brooklyn, in... uh... York St. I'll call you back later, but [maybe I'll go now?] I was taking pictures of this bridge. Uh... I'll try you at your other num- other number, or uh... I'll try to find you... later. But it... [???] Little Italy or Chinatown. I'll find you. Bye.

The Death Of A Toad

I've been farting around with Norton a bit, and I like this Richard Wilbur poem in there that shares its name with this post:

       A toad the power mower caught,

Chewed and clipped of a leg, with a hobbling hop has got

   To the garden verge, and sanctuaried him

   Under the cineraria leaves, in the shade

      Of the ashen and heartshaped leaves, in a dim,

          Low, and a final glade.



       The rare original heartsbleed goes,

Spends in the earthen hide, in the folds and wizenings, flows

    In the gutters of the banked and staring eyes. He lies

    As still as if he would return to stone,

        And soundlessly attending, dies

           Toward some deep monotone,



       Toward misted and ebullient seas

And cooling shores, toward lost Amphibia^Rs emperies.

    Day dwindles, drowning and at length is gone

    In the wide and antique eyes, which still appear

        To watch, across the castrate lawn,

            The haggard daylight steer.

I thought I had other things to post, but I don't.

Krupps & Felt

I've been thinking about House of Leaves lately. I've read a whole lot of Internet things that say it's a load of pretentious hackery, which is, of course, all it takes to take the wind out of everyone else's sails. What I think is that the material devoted to the emotional motivation of the main character falls pretty flat (to the extent, I guess, that it necessitated the writing of a whole 'nother book), but that the rest of it is a truly nasty and extremely virulent little meme. I recommend it to all of you who are patient.

Mer rented Garden State and I just watched it. It's alright -- self-indulgent, wears a bit thin in the last act, but it's fairly genuine otherwise, it seems like. All those Jersey rich-kids reminded me of my friends from Wesleyan, none of whom read this.

Apparently Devil-Lynn got me this DVD for Christmas. Thanks, guy! (Does a 'blog "thank you" mean I don't have to write a note?)

Here are some tidbits from a story from Edge (as featured on /.) where they ask 120 experts from various fields about things they believe but cannot prove. Inneresting! Tor Nørretranders preaches to the choir:

It is important to have faith, but not necessarily in God. Faith is important far outside the realm of religion: having faith in other people, in oneself, in the world, in the existence of truth, justice and beauty. There is a continuum of faith, from the basic everyday trust in others to the grand devotion to divine entities.

Carlo Rovelli appeals to people who don't know anything about physics, like me:

I think that the notions of space and time will turn out to be useful only within some approximation. They are similar to a notion like "the surface of the water" which looses meaning when we describe the dynamics of the individual atoms forming water and air: if we look at very small scale, there isn't really any actual surface down there. I am convinced space and time are like the surface of the water: convenient macroscopic approximations, flimsy but illusory and insufficient screens that our mind uses to organize reality.

Chris Anderson gets plain mean:

The Intelligent Design movement has opened my eyes. I realize that although I believe that evolution explains why the living world is the way it is, I can't actually prove it. At least not to the satisfaction of the ID folk, who seem to require that every example of extraordinary complexity and clever plumbing in nature be fully traced back (not just traceable back) along an evolutionary tree to prove that it wasn't directed by an invisible hand. If the scientific community won't do that, then the arguments goes that they must accept a large red "theory" stamp placed on the evolution textbooks and that alternative theories, such as "guided" evolution and creationism, be taught alongside.

So, by this standard, virtually everything I believe in must now fall under the shadow of unproveability. Most importantly, this includes the belief that democracy, capitalism and other market-driven systems (including evolution!) are better than their alternatives. Indeed, I suppose I should now refer to them as the "theory of democracy" and the "theory of capitalism", to join the theory of evolution, and accept the teaching of living Marxism and fascism as alternatives in high schools.

I'm getting pretty sick of having to go to work -- especially when I make some critical breakthrough in something I'm working on and look at the clock and it's time to brush my teef and get on the subway before I have time to finish implementing it. I want to go on vacation again. Anyone want to sponsor me, Damian Conway-style? Right, didn't think so.

A funny Jerkcity, something of a rarity.

Aud Lang Sine Wave

Happy New Year, my little habichuelos! (My little habas!)

The way of the future.
The way of the... future.
The w-way of the future.

Peep it, creepits -- a letter from Knuth to Condi Rice, circa 2002. You may also enjoy some of his photographs.

Also of interest: John Gilmore (EFF)'s explanation of what's wrong with copy protection.

I've been frying my brain on computer shit lately. Luckily, Razor Lopez, with whom I spent a delightful NYE, lent me a whole bunch of XBox games that I'm totally gonna play. To whit:

• LOTR: The Two Towers (really hard, though apparently I'm already farther than Billy)
• Arx Fatalis
• The Simpsons: Hit & Run (utterly delightful)
• The Thing
• Believe it or not, Syberia the first!

In return we gave him Fable, which I think he'll enjoy. It's well-crafted, if not terribly expansive.

On the subway ride home from Roger Cumming Architecture, this young middle eastern guy puked up a whole bunch of brown crap like halfway down the car from us. Gross! The cat still has a little diarrhea. Mer cleaned literally everything in the whole house. We are becoming vegetarians for 2005; we are becoming vegetarians that can fish.

Come in with the milk.

Bitches!

I bought stamps at the post office before coming to work and affixed them to the remaining "holiday cards" on the subway. The guy I was sitting next to was very well-dressed -- leather, etc. -- but he smelled like feces. I mailed the cards before coming upstairs. Literally nobody is in the office today. Zero developers. 2 QA people (including me -- I am honorary QA manager). Nothing can get done.

Sounds like Mitch Hedberg's got a little dok-dok-dok problem (or his existing problem has gotten worse). His act actually sounds pretty punk rock, though.

Okay, I'm home now. Razor Lopez and Chrissy Rodney were supposed to come over to hang out / play Xbox, but one's feeling sick and the other may not be doing so great either, so right now it's looking like an evening of drinking wine and hacking LISP by candlelight.

Fuck Christmas

Mer has flown the coop, so to speak. I miss her already. But we made a bunch of totally awesome "holiday" cards and maybe some of you will get one in the mail once I can buy some stamps.

We have switched the cat to this dry food that's supposed to help her skin, but I'm not very good about measuring out how much to give her -- I just pour it into the bowl until she pushes my hand out of the way with her head -- and it's kind of upset her stomach. She just crapped an extremely noisy diarrheaic crap into her litter box. Think the ring-presentation scene in Henry Fool.

Look, I know crapping on people who whine about the discrepancies between the book and movie versions of Lord of the Rings is kind of passe these days, but take a gander at this site. See... there seem to be a lot of you out there who think these books are some kind of masterpiece, but you need to face facts: This Tolkien guy is positively a misogynist and extremely probably a homosexual. I shit you not, I have read his biography. All this bullshit people are always carping about -- platonic ideal of male friendship and all that -- it's just Tolkien crapping on women and wanting to fuck his WW1 buddies. There is no such thing as this innocent, affectionate male friendship that people won't shut up about -- Sam wants to fuck Frodo. Don't you get it? And when you people get all fussy about Peter Jackson tampering with this sacred, sacred little repressed love affair it means a) you are gay, which is fine; or, b) you are a tiny little immature baby-person, because that was the creepiest goddamn part of the whole trilogy of books -- books, which, by the way, are notable more for the obsessiveness of their author than for anything else. They represent a disorder on the scale of this, minus the little naked girls with dicks, of course.

I sarcastically cannot wait to hear everyone's wonderful opinions about this upcoming thing.

Mer and I have been doing this thing recently which I think is fun enough to recommend to others. Instead of going to the movies or buying CDs or whatever, once a week we have been going out to eat, usually for brunch, at a different shi-shi restaurant in our neighborhood. It usually comes out to around $30, which is why we only do it once a week, but now we have totally eaten at like every restaurant in our neighborhood. Places like

• The Cornbread Cafe
- Good cornbread, which is something of a rarity; roasted potatoes to die for
• Applewood - Good food, especially if you like apples; they have a real working fireplace, too
• Dizzy's - Expensive, so-so food, and they gave us the bum's rush when it started to get busy
• 2nd St. Cafe - Deelightful, if you don't mind the wait. Best "huevos rancheros" in the galaxy.

Mer's playing of the light-side Jedi guardian is mad finished, son. It's time for my guy, Dark Jedi Astor Speeris -- heck, that's Darth Speeris to you -- to really shine, or do whatever dark lords of the Sith do. Simmer, I guess? I'm awesome at naming these guys. My dude from the first game was named Telstar Schlitz. Now I gotta do some laundry and get some groceries.

Oh yeah, and I forgot -- I don't usually like Mac Hall that much, but this strip is a keeper.

Oh Bess

I realized that I was really on edge literally because I couldn't decide whether I should write a full DOM implementation (a big stupid programming task -- this 'blog is still going to try to stay non-technical, don't worry) in Scheme and try to get it included in guile-lib and then depend on it for my library or whether I should write my own DOM-like API and expose that to users. And that's a stupid thing to worry about. So for the past couple of days I have just been taking it easy on myself, brain-wise. And that's okay, as far as I'm concerned.

None of you are getting Christmas presents from me, because frankly I think it's silly.

Went to see a production of a play called "The Highwayman" that my friend Julia was putting on; a bunch of my other friends were in it -- hell, I was almost in it myself but I got bumped in a case of cruel casting-call caprice. It was great, except that the theater-space it was in was not heated at all, and I was wearing my All-Star low-tops. My toesies got been frozed.